Snapshots of our Lives
by BonesBird
Summary: A series of drabbles, separate from "I Have A Story To Tell". They are all Tom/B'Elanna at some point over their relationship. Not in show order.


**Title: Snapshots of our Lives  
****Summary: A series of drabbles, separate from "I Have A Story To Tell". They are all Tom/B'Elanna at some point over their relationship. Not in show order.**

**Disclaimer: I own none of the songs, or any of the characters. I'm just borrowing them all.**

**All the lyrics in this story are from New Found Glory's 2011 album "Radiosurgery" except for the last song, which is from their 2006 release "Coming Home"**

* * *

_**My best friends they don't even know  
**__**That my minds going a thousand miles an hour  
**__**I climb walls just to see the world  
**__**But time slows down minutes turn to hours**_

_**(Radiosurgery - Track 1 - "Thirty Days")**_

He just needed to get out, he needed to see her. He knew that the reason he was locked in the Brig was his own fault, but it didn't matter. The Captain wasn't only punishing him, but she was punishing B'Elanna too, and that wasn't fair.

Her face was flashing in front of his eyes. No matter how tightly he squeezed them shut, he could still see her. He thought about what she could be doing, probably over-working herself. He knew her too well. Of course that's what she was doing.

The time kept slowing down. The days until his release seemed like weeks, months even. The first thing he wanted to do was run to her. His head hurt from thinking of her almost constantly for thirty days. But that was the thing about love.

* * *

_**If you're having second thoughts then you better speak up whoa  
**__**You didn't want me, you didn't need me  
**__**What did you say as I walked out the door whoa  
**__**Did you want me, do you want me back?**_

_**(Anthem for the Unwanted - Track 2 - "Drive")**_

They stood in front of the captain, with Harry, Tuvok, Chakotay, The Doctor and Joe Carey as their witnesses. He looked down to her and the nervous smile that was across her face made him smile.

They were really doing this. They were really going to get married. He had even gotten Harry to replicate their rings.

He grinned at her, and whispered, so that only she could hear him "Last chance to change your mind".

The brief shake of her head was all he needed to know, she was all in on this.

* * *

_**You keep bringing me down cause you know I let you  
**__**Drill it in my brain so I won't forget to  
**__**Hold you back when I don't deserve you  
**__**Wanting you more the more I know you**_

_**(Drill It In My Brain - Track 3 - set middle of season 3)**_

She kept telling him that he didn't really want her, that she wasn't worth his trouble. That she was never going to change her mind.

But all the time they spent together in the holodeck was convincing him otherwise. She was just as aggressive as he was, and from what he knew of Klingon mating rituals, the men were the ones who learnt to duck. The women were always the aggressors.

But then she would do something again, and it would be back to square one. He just wanted more the more she told him. The more he learnt, the more interested he was.

* * *

_**She said that I'm not the one that she should bring home tonight  
**__**And I know that she's not the one that I should bring home tonight  
**__**Have you made up, have you made up your mind  
**__**Or is this over?**_

_**(She's Not The One - Track 4 - "Blood Fever")**_

She remembered every move he'd made, every place his hand had touched. It had been days, but it didn't matter. She remembered everything.

It seemed easier at one point that she couldn't remember, then it all came back, and she had felt herself flush with embarrassment. He didn't give her any trouble though, he was just himself, and he even tried to make her feel better.

She didn't want it to be over, but she knew it needed to be, because anything forged under those circumstances was surely doomed to fail.

* * *

_**Then it hit me  
**__**Should I go that far  
**__**For a girl who doesn't ever  
**__**Really know what she wants**_

_**(Ready, Aim, Fire - Track 5 - late season 3)**_

There were so many moments he would do over a hundred times, a million times. It didn't matter to him, because every day he tried to do everything he possibly could just to show her that she mattered.

But she didn't want to see that. She didn't want to see that he was crazy about her. He didn't want to see that without her his life was completely empty. Nothing would matter. Because she was the only girl in his mind, and she had been for so long.

But was it worth trying as hard as he could for a girl who didn't know left from right half the time. She was a fantastic engineer, but her personal life was a mystery to herself. He wanted to keep trying though. Because he had fallen in love with her.

* * *

_**You wait around for the perfect time  
**__**Oh to keep your head up  
**__**Changing your plans, changing your mind  
**__**Oh to keep me guessing**_

_**(Dumped - Track 6 - "Day Of Honour")**_

She was doing the challenge, she wasn't doing the challenge. They were having dinner, they weren't having dinner. His head was all over the place, and all wrapped around, because of her.

The problem was that she loved him, and he loved her. But neither of them were quite ready to accept it, let alone admit it.

So they played this game, and they tried to avoid each other. But one small ship, and the two best officers in their fields. They had so much in common beyond the surface.

So now, they needed to stop playing games, and just accept themselves.

* * *

_**Look them in the eyes, tell them what they wanna hear  
**__**Yeah that's when everyone falls my dear  
**__**Look me in the eyes, tell me what I wanna hear  
**__**I won't fall for it**_

_**(Summer Fling, Don't Mean a Thing - Track 7 - "Extreme Risk")**_

She could lie to everyone else. The Captain, Chakotay, Harry… but whenever she tried to say that she was fine to him, he'd just shake his head.

He knew she wasn't fine, and she knew she should give up trying to tell him she was. Even if her mother wasn't dead, she still had a lot of unresolved issues to face.

At least she knew she wouldn't be facing them alone, Tom wouldn't allow her to think for even a second that she was alone.

* * *

_**What a waste of regrets and side glances  
**__**I should have let this all end and not answered  
**__**Using your pain as your way to bring me closer  
**__**Your inviting words never heard or caused a scene  
**__**I'm just a name unto your breath not a feeling**_

_**(Caught In The Act - Track 8 - "Year Of Hell")**_

He caught her looking over at him from her console on the Bridge. Even with everyone around them, he found the way her eyes found him completely intoxicating. He met her gaze, and they shared a quick moment.

Then she looked away again, and they were back to being the Pilot and Chief Engineer.

Every time he looked at her, the strain seemed to be showing, and it didn't matter that people were there, he just wanted to wrap his arms around her, but he knew he couldn't. Bridge protocol.

It felt like a waste of time, when they were all seconds from death. He looked at her again, and as the battle ended, wrapped his arms around her. Amazed to have survived another day.

* * *

_**I wanna kiss you so hard that your lips bleed  
**__**And I wanna hold you so tight that your ribs break  
**__**And in the end we'll both know who we are  
**__**Our bodies full of memories and battle scars**_

_**(Memories and Battle Scars - Track 9 - seasons 4 through 6)**_

She pushed him against the wall again, and as his fingers dug into her shoulders she smiled, knowing that this was exactly what they needed.

She bit down into his lip, and tasted the blood as she did, his sharp intake of breath just reminding her that he loved it the same as she did.

When he flipped her onto the sofa she grinned. Every night she had a new bruise, but it was worth it, because it was exactly what they both needed, and they made their memories from those nights.

* * *

_**Falling in love is like a trainwreck  
**__**If you make it out alive you still haven't made it  
**__**So tell me the truth, you don't know what you do  
**__**So tell me the truth, you don't know what you're putting me through**_

_**(Trainwreck - Track 10 - season 7)**_

Every day was a new fight. A new compromise. But somehow, he looked forward to it. Every morning he woke up wondering how she would challenge him. How she would push him.

The best part for him, was that she had no idea what she did to him. How much he looked forward to waking up, just so he could argue with her.

He had never met someone who had driven him mad, made him laugh, given him a reason to think before acting, and done everything she could to drive him away.

Every day he was thankful for the hardheaded woman he had married, because every day she showed him how she loved him.

* * *

_**And oh I know you'll never find a way out  
**__**Without me I know you'll never find a way out  
**__**There's a map of your body hanging over my head  
**__**It's a curse not having you to hold again**_

_**(Map of your Body - Track 11 - "Flesh and Blood")**_

She wasn't there, and that was almost killing him. He didn't know where they were. Nobody did, and that was hurting him more than anything.

It was killing him not to have her right there, and he couldn't' shake the nagging feeling that he needed to help her somehow.

He could picture her perfectly, and he missed her, more than he ever thought he would miss anyone, and he needed to find a way to help her.

* * *

_**Stay with me now maybe  
**__**I know you barely know me  
**__**Are we gonna be anything  
**__**We'll find out in the morning**_

_**(Separate Beds - Track 12 - seasons 1 through 3)**_

He looked at her, and wondered what had struck him. Lightening and thunder wouldn't have taken his breath away in quite the same way she had.

Everything she told him made him love her more, want to protect her from the galaxy. She was already damaged, and he wanted to try and save her from any more harm. Help her put herself back together.

All of that was what he wanted, but it wasn't what she needed. She just needed to figure herself out.

* * *

_**Can you tell me if there's any chance of you fitting me in  
**__**Or will you leave me alone standing there, waiting again  
**__**Can you tell yourself to open up this time, maybe give me one more try  
**__**No hands to block me from falling over again, over again  
**__**You knew that I was falling for you over again**_

_**(Over Again - Track 13 - seasons 4 through 7)**_

Again and again she fell for him. Even though she fought it, told herself that he was a pig, that he wasn't a nice person. That he was a traitor, that he only did things that made him happy.

Then there had been the first time she had fallen for him. She had been split in half, ill and weak in the Vidiia'an prison camp, and he had listened to her and protected her.

After that, they had become friends, and every time they did something together she fell for him again, she just fell over and over, and she knew that he knew it.

They both needed to open themselves to what they wanted, and give each other one last chance.

* * *

_**I know a thing, know a thing about sadness  
**__**I know how it feels, how it feels to be alone  
**__**It take more than time to heal the thorn in my side  
**__**Until you go through it yourself you never know**_

_**(Sadness - Track 14 - "Memorial")**_

"I know how you feel."

It was the one sentence he hated more than anything else, because normally it was a lie, someone just trying to make a connection.

But he could tell that she actually did know how he felt. She actually wanted to help him. He should have known, she had been at some real massacres, she had seen the aftermath of the Bajoran occupation more than most of the crew. She just wanted to help him deal with his emotions.

And all of a sudden, he also felt guilty, because no matter how real it had felt, he hadn't really been there. He hadn't puller the trigger. B'Elanna had been there, and she knew more than the others.

She knew a thing or two, and was trying to help him. She wasn't letting him be alone.

"It takes time to heal"

She said the second worst sentence, but from her. He believed them both.

* * *

_**There was staring in seclusion  
**__**A fine tuned way of motion  
**__**A face wrapped for a suitor  
**__**The sound of hearts pumping at the same beat**_

_**(It's Not Your Fault - Coming Home - Post-Endgame)**_

They sat together, and for the first time in their lives, they were in complete symmetry, and they were both silenced in awe as their daughter materialised in front of them.

Neither of them dared take their eyes off the sight, and she could feel his hands on her. Their hearts beating in unison as they marvelled at the tiny thing they had created.

They were going to be parents, in only a matter of months. There was nothing as scary in their lives. But she loved him, and they were ready for this. She hoped.


End file.
